I came across this story recently, after it lying around in storage boxes in various houses over the last couple of decades. I wrote this when I was about 8 years old (early 1990s), at a time when I think I pretty much read only Blyton! I’ve copied out the story, keeping in my original paragraphing and any errors, and below I’ll have a little natter about it.
THE MAGIC GOLD
Once upon a time there was a good Wizard called Vabracatoodles. Now, Vabracatoodles was very rich and had a cave full of gold. The cave was very well protected, with a dragon and big metal dors.
Oe day when Vabracatoodles was having breakfast, his servant, Joodles, came rushing in with a letter in his hand. “A letter for your great wizardness” said Joodles.
Vabracatoodles said, “Then give it to me, you stupid fellow!”
Joodles was so frightened he ran out of the room before you could say mouse!
Vabracatoodles opened the envolope and read the letter.
The letter said…..
To my dearest brother,
I am inviting you to a great feast at my castle next Monday. I am also inviting you to stay until next Friday.
Your dearest brother,
Meanwhile at Evilasam’s a terrible plot was brewing. Evilasam was plotting to get Vabracatoodles gold while Vabracatoodles was staying at his castle. Evilasam’s servant, Blackknight, was just as evil as he was. Together they had worked out many a nasty plot.
Meanwhile, back at Vabracatoodles’ castle Vabracatoodles and Joodles were getting ready for the journey to Evilasam’s castle. As it was Saturday, in order to get to Evilasams castle by Monday, they had to set out for the journey at 6.30am on Sunday.
Finally it was 6.30am on Sunday. Vabracatoodles set out on the journey with Joodles. Vabracatoodles rode his horse called Mighty-Magic. Joodles rode his horse called Cloppy, and Vabracatoodles’ spare horse, Strong-One, was carrying the lugguge.
Finally they reached Evilasam’s Castle. There Evilasam greeted his brother, showed him his bedroom, showed Joodle his bedroom, and put the horses in the stables.
Vabracatoodle and Joodle spent three happy days at Evilasam’s castle.
On Thursday, Evilasam said to his brother and Joodles, “Today I am going on a trip to a wizard meeting with my servant, Blackknight. I’ve organized a trip to Wizard’s Market for you. I hope you enjoy yourselves. Goodbye!”. And with that, he left.
Vabracatoodles was suspicious, and he wandered into Evilasam’s room. There, he looked in Evilasam’s diary. He soon discovered teh evil plot. But he did nothing. He just laughed to himself, and he went on the trip to Wizard’s Market with Joodles.
Meanwhile, Evilasam and Blackknight had killed the dragon and broken down the metal doors with magic, and were facing the gold.
“This is worth more than a thousand pounds!” said Evilasam. He touched the gold. Immediately he turned to gold. Blackknight touched Evilasam and he was turned into a gold statue too.
So you can see why Vabracatoodles just laughed, can’t you?
I hope that made you laugh! Of course, it is pretty dreadful stuff really – very thin plot line, terrible pacing, dubious characters (the “good” guy snooped in his brother’s diary, not to mention allowed him to be turned into gold), and some quite terrible names – “Evilasam”! Not to mention it is terribly derivative!
The influence of Blyton’s story-telling techniques and plots is pretty obvious throughout. Language like “Now, Vabracotoodes was…” and “…many a nasty plot”, and names like “Vabracatoodles” and the horse “Mighty-Magic” really illustrate this. This sort of phrasing was certainly not in comon usage in New Zealand in the early 1990’s!
In terms of my writing now (as well as blogs I do scribble away on other things) I can see some faults that I am still working on 20-plus years later. For example (and this part made me laugh out loud) the specific time for the journey to start – 6:30am! Sometimes I get caught up in the detail, at the expense of pacing. Although the dialogue is not terrible, there is not much of it, and as Stef will know, I struggle with dialogue and admire her ability to write natural-sounding conversations.
However, at the time I was extremely proud of it, and I am still proud of the generally very good spelling, grammar and punctuation, especially as I was only 8 years old and there was no automatic spell-check!
I wonder if I should have a go at fixing-up this story, to see whether I can make something of it?